Normally I would start off one of these posts with some witty excerpt from a book or song that has struck a chord in my heart, but this one feels different. As I sit in bed writing this my mind races at the uncertainties that have been rushing through my mind over the last few months. I have had many questions that have dominated my thoughts recently. Most of them come back to the one that has most stumped me:
What truly matters in this life?
I have begun to notice that we go through our day-to-day lives embracing a certain irrationality. I feel as though there are only two absurdities that can be truly grasped, one of hope and one involving a lack of hope. Both equally illogical in their own ways.
Lack of Hope
If there is no hope then what is the point of this life? Should we not just wallow in our own filth and seek to only gain that which is beneficial to our own desires? But why would that even matter? Ultimately, the absurdity of this system seems to destroy itself. Why would life be worth anything at all without any glimpse of hope? So if a lack of hope inherently has no fulfillment due to the inability to bring about a sense of worth in anything, then the human race must gravitate towards the absurdity of hope.
Hope? Systems and People
If hope is the only logical route to find any sense of worth, then what should we hope in? It seems as though throughout history we look towards certain figures or systems to place our hope. As I look at America today, I notice that we want to place it in such figures as Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, or another candidate who is attempting to usher in a new wave of “leadership” in America. However, how can we place our hope in those of our own kind. We are flawed. Clearly if you pay attention at all to world around us you have gathered the fact that we are flawed on your own.
We have become drawn to our own blindness and are unwilling to face the fact that we may not be enough on our own. We put people on pedestals to escape the hopelessness of our world. Politicians, athletes, artists, religious leaders and more are held in esteem and we expect them to have their lives together because we do not have our own together. If a spiritual leader messes up, then they are immediately condemned. How could a man or woman of God screw up? I have never understood this logic. Their sins may have just made it out into the light of a community, while our own are hidden in the darkness so that we can judge from our living rooms. It truly is amazing how quick we are to judge.
In our flaws we recognize that people, humanity is not what we should hope in. So, could it be placed in a system or religious belief? This is the most popular place of hope. However, many systems and religious beliefs lead back to humanity’s ability to hold everything together.
Why Christianity???
Originally, I was going to compare and contrast the pros and cons on Christianity in relation to some of the other religions of the world, such as Judaism and Islam, but I just want to dwell on the Christian faith. Why is Christianity true? What compels my heart and the hearts of so many to rest in the sweet breeze of God’s grace? I think the answer lies in that very question. In turning to Christianity, there is rest. There is a certain type of effort that does not have to keep trying to no avail. When we fall, there is no need to pick ourselves up from the dirt. We just accept that for what it is. We accept that we are not strong enough or worthy enough or righteous enough, but we can be when we let God embrace us in the dust and carry us into the strength, worth, and righteousness of Christ.
The logic of this act of pure and unaltered love cannot be replicated in any form. The striving that takes place in other religious constructs cannot bring about the rest that comes in this acceptance that He is better. This is the biggest struggle that I have. I want to make things better. I want to work. I want to fix my life, when the best thing that I can do is to just fall, to fall into the waiting arms of the Father. He is there, knocking. It is not I who look for Him, but Him for me. This is what truly matters. This is the illogical logic of the cross that transcends all that we could ever know. And it is beautiful.