Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.
(Stephen Covey)
Our culture finds itself in some peculiar circumstances. We focus very heavily on the “wow factor” of certain occurrences. We discredit views that do not line up with our own. This comes back to the fact that most of us either do not know or have lost the ability to put together a well constructed argument. I believe an argument is a dialogue or conversation where views are stated in a respectful and well-constructed manner. This is vital in our ability to both interpret the world and to respond to what we have seen. In addition, our world moves too quickly for us to adequately engage in any kind of productive discernment. We see something that tugs at our emotions one day and then something comes up the next day that pulls just as hard, taking our attention elsewhere. All things seem to have the same weight due to their nature usually only appearing on the internet.
The open-mindedness of most people is rather low. I know mine is in many areas. It is easy to isolate ourselves with only the opinions that we agree with. In that isolation, we lose the ability to hear the opinions of other sides and to respond in a way that takes into account the emotions of others. It is not about being politically correct, nor is it about being right. It is important to ask ourselves a question in these situations.
Is it possible that I could be wrong?
I do not want to come across as better than anyone in this. I detest being wrong and I will argue with the best of them to prove that I am right in many instances. However, this is unhealthy dialogue and I am learning to see that being correct should never outweigh the well-being of myself or the person(s) that I engage with in an argumentative conversation.
I think that we have a problem with constructing arguments because of the ways that we see leaders argue. Not all leaders do this, some are extraordinary thinkers and pursue conversations that lead to a respectful view of the matter being discussed, on both sides. However, the problem is that we do not listen. We can argue beautifully, but if we do not listen, we lose before we even open our mouths.
Our inability to see the fact that we could be wrong blinds us to the issues that surround us in day-to-day life. Until we are willing to accept the possibility that we may not be correct in all arguments, then we will continue to disrespect the ideas of those around us. We will not listen and if we do not listen, then we do not learn. Learning is the basis for growth. If that growth stagnates then we are losing a lot in life.
This is why in the hot button issues of today’s time, we must be willing to listen. We cannot be preparing a rebuttal while our equal is giving us a broadened perspective. So the next time someone brings up race, whether it involves what is going on in the NFL or in the streets in your town, listen to the other side. Do not see it as an opportunity to win. We must see it as a chance to gain wisdom. In this election, hear all of the sides. It’s funny how we think that we have to conform to two specific sides, when there are other options. Maybe one of those two sides best represents your values and that’s fine. With Syrian refugees, do not let fear be the driving force of your thoughts. Hear the different views and make a decision.
A willingness to hear those we disagree with is a sign of growth in wisdom and in our life in general. It helps us to respect and to love the people that we encounter.
When we hear people, especially those living in the margins, then I believe that we begin to see the world as Jesus did. When we see the cares and cries of people that we disagree with, it makes them easier to love. When we see the options we put away our own leanings and begin to open up to see that maybe our beliefs do not line up with the life of Christ. Jesus lived in the margins. We must do the same and in doing so broaden our perspective.