Life doesn’t make sense
It bends and breaks you
You numb yourself but
This lack of feeling only hurts
Feeling is lost
There is no joy without pain
There is no need for hope
Without darkness
Innocence is lost
To be gained once more
To be a child is to be in awe
And that brings sense to life again
(Innocence)
I wrote this poem originally for my book about a year ago. I was taking note of the contrast found in life and the idea of growing from a place of innocence. Those thoughts have stayed with me. I know that we are born into a world of sin, but there was a time when I was more optimistic, more hopeful, and less cynical about the world. There were times when I was just amazed at life. Sure, I was a little naïve, but I think that there is a distinction to be made between innocence and naivety. I think innocence learns from the past while naivety stays oblivious.
Also, I am beginning to believe that we never actually lose our innocence. Maybe instead of losing our innocence, we lock it away somewhere deep inside of us, afraid for it to be seen. As we grow the world begins to slowly eat away at it and as a means to protect it, we hide. In hiding our innocence, we hide our story.
I was talking with one of my closest friends recently about music. I had been playing around with a theory that love for music is an inherently human quality (I mean have you ever met anyone who just flat out does not enjoy music?). However, he took it a step further to say that music is really just another creative medium for us to share our stories. Something clicked for me when he said this.
Our story, the places we are afraid to show others and the journey that we have taken thus far, shapes the way that we interact with the world. Stories are the tapestry of the human experience. They shine a unique light on our vulnerability and innocence. Sharing our story reawakens our innocence and allows us to come into touch with the childlike state that lies within us all. This is why sharing our story is emotional. It opens up pandora’s box of feelings. However, secretly, we are hopeful that someone will be willing to meet us at our most vulnerable to allow that innocence to take root once more.
The beauty of sharing our stories is the aspect of human connection. Authentic storytelling tears away at the masks that we put up on a day-to-day basis giving way to the light of our innocence. In doing this, we open ourselves up to a more authentic lifestyle. Our emotions are free to run, but they are not out of control. The peaks and valleys are felt more deeply. Life becomes more surprising, but also more fulfilling.
For me, innocence is not nativity or a sense of guiltlessness. Instead, I see it as a discipline that breeds confidence, especially in our identity. Innocence recognizes our abilities and does not misunderstand our capabilities compared to those of God. That is freeing to think about. Our smallness is okay in comparison to His grandeur. It allows us to focus on what we can control and not to worry about the outcomes. It brings a simplicity to life, a child-like faith that clears the mind to trust and believe the promises that have been laid before us.