"O Love that keeps the heavens turning draw us to you in all our yearnings."
(Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals)
Life has felt very mundane for me lately and in these moments the critic in me can very easily take control of my life. I wake up, I go to the gym (or hope to), eat, go to class, go to work, chill, go to bed, repeat. It seems so similar, each passing day, like I have already lived the day that I am entering into. The similarities are striking. The mistakes I make. The routine. Sometimes the same mistakes at the same time, in the same way. It is disheartening this cycle.
But hope is there and that is why I love this quote so much. It shows how much faith is about longing. Longing for better, for more; more out of life and more out of ourselves through Christ. We cannot obtain our longings on our own or by our own strength. This is hard to understand, at least for me. I have no problem knowing I am weak or knowing that I cannot do things on my own, but actually being that or letting that weakness be portrayed so that God can be my strength is very counterintuitive to me. It does not make sense. It does not compute.
Truthfully, I am trying to get back to finding beauty in the monotony of my current reality. I need a reality shift, a fresh start. This is partially why I have not written in a while. I have not felt up to it for a bit. I have not felt like I have had anything to say and pushing through just say something for the sake of saying something is counterproductive to me. However, God has done a lot for me lately. Yet, it is easy for me to focus on the places that I have turned my back on Him rather than giving the glory He deserves as my response. So, this is just me taking some time to point out the wonder of God, to focus on that for a bit.
Never let the wonder get away
Don’t let it get away
Don’t let it get away
Wonder is a very interesting word. It is rather paradoxical. When looking into it, because I am a nerd, I found some interesting things in the Greek. Two different words that convey some beautiful meaning: thambos and existemi.
Thambos has a meaning that I usually think of when I see the word wonder. It is "to render immovable." Traditionally speaking my view of wonder and awe convey a feeling of just wanting to sit still in the presence of God. It shows the beauty of being completely enveloped in the presence of God, something that I continually long for.
Existemi, on the other hand, was something that I hadn't really thought of with wonder. It means "to throw out of position, displace." This reminded me of the Greek word for repentance, which is metanoia, meaning "a change of mind, as it appears to one who repents, of a purpose he has formed or of something he has done." I feel like these words are connected and I do not necessarily have the research to back this up, but I feel like I have experienced these words.
It seems that when God reveals Himself and we are caught up in wonder, it usually leads to repentance. We are displaced, so we change our mind. It is almost a logical flow of thought to me. Seek God. He shows up. He throws us out of position (sometimes literally). We repent. We find new purpose. (Read Genesis 32 for a visual of this.)
I don't think that we do this on our own. We need each other. In fact, in Jesus's final moments before the cross, we see Him praying to God on our behalf for unity (See: John 17:20-26). We need unity. We need to wrestle with God. We need wonder. We need repentance. These bring purpose. This is the cycle that we need to follow. This makes the mundane beautiful. It makes everyday a fresh start.