"God's not interested in affirming my conscience or my common sense, He's interested in saving me, transforming me." (Dr. Chris Green)
I have never really noticed how much that I rely on myself, my understanding, my logic. Proverbs 3:5 states, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."
Do we really know what this means? Do we understand the radical importance? In truth, we cannot fully comprehend the weight of this challenge, but it is incredibly important. We have so much to learn. We should be so dependent on one another and together dependent on God. We pass judgment so quickly. I pass judgment so quickly.
These last few months I haven't written anything, because truthfully I have not had the words to say. The hurt, the chaos, it all got to me. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know who to listen to. It seemed like so much was in limbo and so little would be resolved by writing. Where is the hope when you see so many hurting? How do you walk into church and act like the chaos that is going on in this country is not a big deal?
One thing you should know about me is that I tend to side with the underdog. I am overly compassionate to those who may not have been dealt a good hand. I feel as though those in power should feel the same way and it irks me when power is taken solely to gain power rather than to serve others. This happens on both the largest and smallest of scales.
As I look around, I see that we as a nation rely so much on rational thought instead of learning to trust. In a message entitled The Virtue of Self Doubt, Dr. Chris Green states that we seem to be seeking Jesus not out of a desire to be righteous but instead with a desire for what we interpret from Scripture to affirm that we are right. I have fallen in this many times and it is so easy to play the judge in our minds when we see something that we deem wrong. We play the judge, jury and executioner in our minds when we are no different.
The Mercy and Grace of God are free for all. Hitler could have found God. Would you be okay with that? How does it make you feel? Jesus died for him as He did for you and me. He died for those who took part in the events of Charlottesville. He died for so many sinners. He died to save. He died to transform. He died to change the world, our worlds individually and corporately, so that His kingdom would take root in our hearts. And if I believe that there is grace and healing in the cross for me then I have to believe that it is there for all. Those who are the worst in my eyes and the eyes of humanity are desired in the heart of the Father.
Honestly this has all been a blur as I have written this. However, what I am learning is that so much of my understanding may in fact be wrong or off a little and that is okay. In addition, rather than passing judgment, we must be willing to offer grace. The forgiveness we offer will be given to us. The grace that we hand out will be given to us. I would much rather be remembered as a man of grace than of judgment. Grace is active and ever moving. It is hopeful and in this time, we need all of the hope we can get.